New USGA Rules 2008
   Subject: USGA Rules Change  IT APPEARS THE DOCUMENT IS NOW OFFICIAL. SEND IT TO EVERY  GOLFER YOU KNOW.  THE USGA WOULD LIKE TO INFORM ALL GOLFERS:Â
  There is a possibility of MAJOR rule changes to the game  of golf, this may occur sometime after November 4.Â
   This is only a preview as the complete rule book is being written now.Â
  Here are a couple of basic changes.   Â
  Golfers with handicaps:
  - below 10 will have their green fees increase by 35%Â
  - between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green feesÂ
  - above 18 will play for free and even get a check from the club/course played   Â
  The $ amount put in for bets will be as follows:
  -for handicaps below 10 an additional $10Â
  -between 11 and 18 no additional amountÂ
  -above 18 you will receive the total amount in the pot and you do not even have to play. The term “gimme putt” will be changed to “entitlement” and will be used as follows:Â
  -handicaps below 10, no entitlementsÂ
  -handicaps above 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts
  -handicaps above 18, if on green, no need to ever putt, just pick it upÂ
  These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness in  scoring so that the final scores of all players will be about the same. In addition, a Player will be limited to a max of one birdie and/or six pars, any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player making the birdie or par, can that Player begin to count his score again.Â
The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes but the term “net score” will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps 18 and above.Â
 This is intended to “redistribute” the success of winning by making sure that in every competition the above 18 handicap players will post only “net score” against every other player’s gross score.Â
  These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf.  Golf must be about Fairness Only, it should have nothing to do with Ability.Â
Special thanks to my Thursday night summer golfing buddy for keeping me informed and giving me a good laugh.Â
I find most golfers don’t really know the USGA Rules so here is a link to USGA Rules so you can find out what you really need to know!
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Posted by flagolfer on November 6th, 2008 :: Filed under golf jokes
Tags :: funny, golf, golf jokes, usga rules
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November 15th, 2008
Here’s a very different take on this…
The existing rules actually read something like the following below…and even with new leadership running the USGA, the rulebook likely will stay the same because old-guard, entrenched members on the organization’s board will thwart all efforts at change using their so-called “filibuster†powers as well as their ability to “control the message†received by at-large members via the USGA monthly magazine, website, newsletters as well as USGA cable news and radio talk show hosts.
Golfers with handicaps 1 and lower…
Are paid $$$ to golf and are welcome on any golf course in the country, especially private courses. During their rounds, 1&Under Handicappers can apply any ad-hoc gimmick at any time to maintain or lower their handicap (these gimmicks, hereafter referred to as “privilegesâ€, include gimme putts, mulligan’s, etc.). Club professionals are required to be on hand at all times to assist these golfers with club selection, lining up putts, finding lost balls, etc. Kids of 1&Under Handicap golfers automatically inherit the same handicaps of their parents, independent of those kids’ abilities. On occasions when these golfers experience a disaster round (i.e. a “crashâ€), the USGA will “bail out†the golfer by offsetting the bad score with handicap strokes pulled from a seemly bottomless (but actually empty) reservoir of strokes to be extracted from higher handicap golfers at some future (to be determined) date. One&Under Handicappers are provided their own luxury golf carts at courses all around the country…six, seven, eight…twenty…some of these golfers can’t tell you how many they own.
Golfers with handicaps between 2 and 5…
Are only allowed to play on public courses and assigned tee times available only after the 1&Under golfers have taken all the preferred ones. The 2to5 Handicappers pay the going rate for green fees and are allowed to rent one deluxe golf cart per round. Although 2-5 Handicap golfers are allowed one “privilege†per round (usually a mulligan), such practices are frowned upon by the USGA. Instead, the USGA has suggested that 1&Under golfers occasionally include the 2to5 Handicappers in their own golf games thereby exposing the former group to 1&Under privileges and other handicap lowering mechanisms. Unfortunately, there is no evidence that this “trickle down†strategy has ever worked, assuming it’s even been tried.
Golfers with handicaps 6 and above…
Are only allowed to play on public, nine-hole golf courses in Duluth, Minnesota between the months of December and March. The cost of a round of golf for these folks can be no less than a third of the golfer’s annual income. Indeed, golfers with handicaps 10 and over are encouraged to give up the game entirely and instead take up some other hobby or a different sport like stick ball.
In summary, the rules of golf set down by “supply-side†minded USGA officials back in 1981 are all about PRIVALEGE and maintaining the STATUS QUO, and have little to do with ABILITY or OPPORTUNITY and in no way should ever, ever be about FAIRNESS.